this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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