No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Someone shattered a urinal.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
