I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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