I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You need Xanax blowdarts
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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