hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
