I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
