your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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