I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
