Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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