It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
