make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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