When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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