It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
