you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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