So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
