Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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