Just fell off a train. Bad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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