Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
