another moral hangover. fuck.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize