You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
