Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
