i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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