The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
