windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
