My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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