The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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