so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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