Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize