I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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