Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
