I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
