I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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