I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
