I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
