But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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