On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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