Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
