I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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