The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
