I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They took my balls.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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