If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
