He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
