sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think my vagina is haunted
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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