Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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