my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
