Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
