Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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