Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
