The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I had to cum in my sink.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
