I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize