I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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