Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
