my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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