I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how drunk are you?
Several
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
