normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
