i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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