I wish I only lived at night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
