Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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