Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
