I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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