Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
