He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
