the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
